Cat Facts
by ilovecarlospena93
Summary: Carlos loves pulling pranks, and when he buys a disposable phone, hilarity follows! Rated T for language, NO SLASH!


_**A/N: Ok, so me and Stephanie (waitingFORthePERFECTsong9092 ), were insanely bored tonight, so we started texting, wherein I mentioned we should play a game...This is what I texted her. Then, when we hopped on skype, I said I should write a Cat Facts fic, she insisted I do so. I normally only write write rated M Kenlos Slash, but this was too funny to pass up writing. It's rated T for language, no slash, just funny shit! Hope you all love!**_

_**I do not own BTR. **_

Carlos smirked deviously, as he finished setting up his "prank phone". He had always wanted to prank text the boys, but since they obviosly had his true phone number in their contacts, it took the fun out of it. The idea struck him when he was walking through the electronics section at Walmart. He saw the pay-as-you go phones that only old people used, and that was when inspiration struck. He grabbed the most inexpensive cell phone, also a minimum minutes phone card, and sneaked up to the register before his band mates could see him.

Now he sat on his bed, opening a new message box, putting in Kendall's phone number. He knew he would be the one to actually respond and not just ignore the text. He had thought long and hard of what prank to do, but the one he thought of, he knew would be perfect.

_"Welcome to Cat Facts! You have subscribed to receive one cat fact per day for the next year! If you did not sign up for Cat Facts, please text back 'NOFACTS'."_

He could not contain the giggles that bubbled out of his mouth as he pushed the send button. This could be the most epic via phone prank he has ever pulled.

**Meanwhile...**

Kendall was enjoying his day, soaking up the sun by the Palm Woods pool, sipping at his pink smoothie when he felt his iPhone vibrate, indicating a text message. Pulling down his sunglasses, he looked at his phone, seeing that the text was from an unknown number. Curious as to who it could be, he opened it.

"What the fuck?" He mumbled, reading the message. He knew for certain he did NOT subscribe to receive fucking CAT facts! He didn't really even care for cats all that much. He rolled his eyes, then responded.

_"NOFACTS"_

Carlos triumphantly whooped, excited that Kendall took the bait. He was now laughing so hard, he could barely type out the text.

_"Command not recognized. Your cat fact for today is: Did you know that a female cat can only have two litters of kittens a year? If you do not want to receive any more cat facts, please text back 'NOFACTS'."_

Kendall again felt his phone vibrate, groaning when he saw it was from the same number. Irritated, he again replied,

_"NOFACTS"_

By this time, Carlos was rolling around on the bed in utter hysterics.

_"Great! You have indicated that you wish to receive hourly cat facts! Did you know the largest recorded domestic cat weighed in at 39 pounds? If you would like to discontinue receiving cat facts, please text us back your favorite animal."_

This time, when his phone vibrated, Kendall considered throwing it into the pool. Who had signed him up for this damn thing? He wouldn't put it past Carlos to sign him up. He was going to have to question him on that later.

He thought for a second about his favorite animal, quickly deciding. He crossed his fingers that this would work.

_"Teacup Pig"_

Carlos was pretty sure he had lost his voice from laughing so hard, and his stomach hurt like hell, but he just couldn't hold it back!

_"Incorrect! The correct answer is 'cat'. Did you know that cats can not digest milk? To stop receiving cat facts, text back 'FUCKYOU'."_

"GO THE FUCK AWAY!" Kendall yelled, when his phone vibrated yet again. The people around the pool stopped what they were doing to stare. Kendall was too furious to notice.

"Text back 'fuck you'? Oh, it would be my pleasure!"

_"FUCKYOU"_

Carlos now held his sides, and was doing deep breathing excercises his gut hurt so bad from laughing.

_"Rudeness is not recognized. If you are unhappy receiving cat facts, please text us back your favorite animal to cancel your subscription."_

Kendall was now going certifiably insane, his knees pulled to his chest, rocking back and forth.

"Damn you cat lovers!" He mumbled, deciding to play along with their little game.

_"Cat"_

Carlos could not believe his luck! Kendall had said EXACTLY what he hoped he would say! He quickly responded.

_"Incorrect. You previously stated that your favorite animal is "Teacup Pig". You are an unreliable customer and have been deemed unworthy of cat facts. Goodbye."_

Kendall giggled insanely, hopping up from the poolside chair and dancing around like a maniac. People were staring again, but he could not find it within himself to give a shit. His heart sank, however, when he felt his phone go off.

_"Welcome to Horse Facts!..."_

**Later that day at the Verizon store...**

"What do you mean my warantee doesn't cover water damage? What would you do if someone was sending you fucking ANIMAL FACTS? The pool was RIGHT FUCKING THERE!"

THE END!

_**A/N: Oh, what being bored does to your imagination..REVIEW! I would love to hear what you all think!**_


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